Skip to content

All sex facts / The numbers

Infidelity is common, and lower than everybody guesses

Around one in five married men, and one in eight married women.

Infidelity is common, and lower than everybody guesses

In decades of the General Social Survey, about 20 per cent of married men and 13 per cent of married women reported ever having had sex with someone other than their spouse while married. Asked about the past year rather than ever, the figure drops to a few per cent.

The gender gap has been closing, and not because men are doing it less. The rate among women under 30 now matches men's; among people over 60 the gap is as wide as it ever was. The generation, not the sex, turns out to be the better predictor.

Related facts

One in five has tried an open arrangement

Far more than swinging, and far more than most people assume.

Almost everybody fantasises, and about much the same things

4,175 people were asked in detail. The categories are few.

A third have tried it, and the number has doubled

One of the fastest-changing figures in sex research.

The sex-toy guide

A shop has two hundred of them. One of them is right for you.

Seven questions: who it is for, what sounds appealing, how quiet it has to be, what it may cost. Out comes one type — with what to look for, what it costs, and what nobody prints on the box.

Sixteen types, from a bullet vibrator to a blindfold
No brands, no shop, nothing for sale here
Two minutes, and nothing is saved

Start the seven questions For the two of you

Find out what you both want — without either of you saying it first.

You each answer twenty questions on your own, and neither of you ever sees the other’s answers. Only what you both said yes or maybe to comes back. A no and a maybe look identical from outside, so saying no costs nothing — which is what makes the answers honest.

Six sets of twenty questions — three by depth, three by subject
An evening you can actually plan, built from what you agreed on
No account, no names, and it deletes itself after a few days

Open Let’s talk about sex

General information, not medical advice. Anything persistent or painful belongs with a doctor, who has heard it before.