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  • Writer's pictureLady May

11 things that went wrong during sex

Updated: Sep 14, 2022

Everyone has experienced a sex blooper. Big or small. From a stinky fart to your sister coming into the bedroom while you were just orally indulging your boyfriend.

But it can get even crazier. Read about the funniest bloopers during sex here

Oops this part left in my body after sex

#1 Calling your colleague

Most people today also use their cell phones as alarm clocks.

So did this couple, their alarm clock went off early in the morning and the woman sleepily turned it off. This morning the couple decided to postpone getting up for a while and had good sex.

Once at work, of the woman, a co-worker came over for a chat. However, the colleague kept looking at the woman strangely and then showed her phone. She showed her call list and said, I thought it was so strange that you called so early and walked away with a grin.

#2 Eating Pizza

Most singles are familiar with Tinder. So is this lady. She decided that it would be best if someone came by late at night but on the condition that he would bring a pizza. The man met the condition and brought a pizza with her favorite topping.

Chilli peppers.

Together they ate the pizza and one thing led to another. When the man spoiled her with his hands her vagina was suddenly on fire.

Crying out in pain, she fled into the bathroom with a sore and red vagina to find out where this sudden burning pain came from...... Tip from us. Wash your hands after eating a chili pepper.

#3 Misunderstood

A middle-aged couple went on vacation for the first time without children. They had gone to a naturist resort where they could enjoy undisturbed nudity.

With the neighbors at the resort, about the same age, there was a nice click. With another couple they were having a nice glass of wine and the conversation soon turned to swinging.

The woman actually did not know what this meant but enthusiastically called out: Yes nice swinging, we always do that and of course we go tomorrow to the swing cafe. The following evening in the cafe, the woman found out what swinging meant. With shame on her cheeks the woman had to tell the other couples that she had not known what swinging was.......... To the regret of her husband who had been looking forward to an adventure.

#4 Toothpaste

A young lady was brushing her teeth when her boyfriend insisted on a blow job.

He will remember this one for a long time because toothpaste extra strong and a blow job do not go well together.

#5 Fire Department

A familiar story of a couple who wanted it more exciting in bed. So they did and she handcuffed him which they had had for years. The woman rode the man and they both came to a climax. When the woman wanted to release the man, the keys were nowhere to be found. After hours of trying to get the cuffs off, there was nothing else to do but to call the fire department to free the man. Fortunately, the woman had been able to put a pair of pants on the man but the fire department knew exactly what had happened.

#6 low and high water

A couple went on their vacation address romantic rowing in their dinghy to a small island off the coast. Already excited during this trip they decided to take off their clothes so they could enjoy their naked bodies.

They pulled the rowing boat onto the beach of the island and further on, just behind some rocks, sheltered from possible peepers, they lay there and made love to each other for hours. When they arrived back on the beach their rowboat was gone. It had become high tide and the rowing boat had drifted away. Completely naked they had to attract the attention of water sportsmen in order to get back on the mainland.

Oops i have sex with a twin

#7 Mistake by saleswoman.

a young couple had spent a day shopping in the big city. She had bought a new shirt. In the nearly empty train, the couple began to have sex. When he came he sprayed on her Tshirt on her breasts. In order not to have to explain to her parents at home what was on her shirt she took it off and threw it out of the train window. When she wanted to put on her new shirt the couple found out that they had not put a shirt but a pair of shorts in the bag by mistake. The young lady had a lot of explaining to do when she was brought home by her boyfriend.

#8 Sextoy from your mother

A young girl still living at home had found a dildo in her mother's nightstand. One night alone at home, the young lady was excited and decided to "borrow" the dildo from her mother's nightstand. The young lady decided to try it anally as well and to her horror the dildo got stuck. In the end, the young lady could do nothing but confess everything to her mother. Eventually the mother took the young lady to the emergency room where a doctor removed the dildo.

#9 Breath play

a man with an extreme sex fantasy regularly hired a prostitute for this purpose. Breath play was not strange to this prostitute and she regularly fulfilled his request.

However, this time it went wrong and the man became unconscious and the prostitute fled the house in a panic. Not much later the wife found her husband unconscious and naked on the floor and alerted the emergency services. The woman told the police that her husband's expensive rolex watch was missing and the police initially assumed robbery. After some investigation the police found the prostitute who denied having stolen the watch. It turned out the man was a sex addict and had pawned his expensive Rolex watch to pay for prostitution. Would this couple still be together?

#10 Chasity goes wrong.

A couple where the husband wanted to be submissive to his wife decided to experiment with this. On the internet they ordered a steel penis cage. When the couple decided after a period of time to take the cage off to have sex the key to the lock broke off. Eventually the couple had a locksmith come out because their own attempts to get the lock on came to nothing. Fortunately for the couple, the locksmith had the lock open within seconds.

#11 Twins

Everyone knows it, a vacation love. The following happened to a young girl during a vacation in France: She had met a nice boy that evening and had spent a large part of the evening kissing him at the toilet building at the campsite. She would have liked more and was quite disappointed when the boy in question indicated that he was going to sleep because he and his parents would be leaving for home early the next morning.

The young girl was delighted to see her boyfriend from that evening return after a few minutes.

She took the initiative and pulled her vacationing love into the restroom where she satisfied him orally and after he brought her to orgasm, he was off again.

During the sex he had come across a bit tougher than during the kissing that night but she had not minded.

Because of the crush she felt she decided to see her vacation lover and wish him a safe trip home the next morning. To her horror she saw "2 boyfriends" sitting in the back of the car and realized immediately that the boy she had pulled into the toilet was the twin brother of the boy she had been kissing all evening.

Fortunately the twins hadn't seen her because she wouldn't have known who to say........

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